Editor’s Note: This piece was written during the 2023 WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. Without the labour of the actors and writers involved in the project(s) mentioned here, Pages and Pictures would not exist. Pages and Pictures stands firmly behind WGA and SAG-AFTRA members as they fight for fair labour conditions. 

You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah is a charming story highlighting Jewish joy. In a world where antisemitism is still a visceral threat, stories like these are more important than ever to show the community in this positive light. The movie is also an honest meditation on the idea of growing up and how important friendships are when coming of age. At its core, this is a story of how growing up can be a painful process requiring love, support, and grace.

It makes sense to begin with Stacy (Sunny Sandler) and what a charming protagonist she is. Even though she is so deeply flawed, she’s no less relatable. This is such an authentic portrayal of a teenager just wanting to be accepted as she grows up. Watching her try absolutely everything to gain this acceptance, even to the point of possibly endangering her life, reads as heartbreakingly relatable. Stacy’s journey to find that acceptance within herself to make her a better friend is one worth taking. 

Relatedly, this story is such a brilliant illustration of the realities of female friendships. The fact that Stacy and Lydia (Samantha Lorraine) are so close and torn apart by a boy is devastating. However, watching their relationship grow from this and watching them re-centre their own friendship is so incredibly endearing. The fact that they’re able to overcome their respective hurt to re-prioritize their friendship is a testament to each of their characters. 

You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah also succeeds because Adam Sandler is allowed to be funny while remaining completely in the background. The fact that the story is never overwhelmed by his antics makes it easier to invest in. In fact, casting him along with the rest of his family gives the Sandlers a chance to shine. He’s easier to relate to and appreciate when he’s in the background supporting his actual children.  

Rabbi Rebecca (Sarah Sherman) also deserves a special shout-out for the brand of chaos she brings to this story. She epitomizes Jewish joy to the maximum. Frankly, her enthusiasm for everything Jewish and her need to instil this in others is aspirational. Underneath her quirky attitude is an earnest love of the Jewish people, Torah, and Jewish learning. This makes her exactly the kind of leader that the Jewish community needs to mentor the next generation. 

If there is any criticism to be had of this movie, it’s that it focuses on the stereotype that every Jewish family in the United States throws massively lavish parties to celebrate B’Nei mitzvahs. The fact is, the Jewish experience is broad and the stereotype of massive Jewish wealth continues to cause very real consequences for the community. There are plenty of characters within this story that illustrate the sheer depth and breadth of the Jewish community, encompassing various backgrounds and cultures. There could have been more of a focus on this element of the story. 

You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah is an endearing coming-of-age story that has much to love. It is a meditation on what it means to grow up and what it means to join the Jewish community as an adult. It’s funny, moving, and a tribute to the power of community. This support is what everyone deserves when facing a new stage in their lives. There is much to appreciate in this tribute to friendship and the realities of growing up. 

You are so Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah! is available to stream on Netflix.